Host of New Family Double Dare Dies in Hospital

Orlando, FL

Shocking news from Orlando, Florida today. Simon Deckard, host of Nickelodeon Network’s flagship program New Family Double Dare has died of an overdose. It must have been drugs, right? Wrong! Sources say he died of an overdose of… Get ready for it… antibiotics!

Deckard contracted an infection last week on the set of his show, and—according to sources—proceeded to ignore it professionally, snapping at production crew who brought the subject up. He claimed that if he went to the hopsital, he would just catch a worse infection, and that his house was cleaner than a hospital anyway.

In a press release from Nickelodeon, Deckard’s producer Nora Nolasco said, Simon has been a close friend for many years. We all know how hard he’s worked to overcome his personal issues, and our best wishes go out to his family in their time of loss.

Nolasco was finally able to get Deckard to check into a hospital, though his diagnosis is not public knowledge at this time. Orderlies report—somewhat unbelievably—that Deckard snuck out of his bed overnight, broke into the hopsital’s stores, and injected himself with a lethal amount of a yet-to-be-determined antibiotic.

Simon is succeeded by his wife Rachael Deckard (née Tyrell). Mrs. Deckard has asked well-wishers to make donations to Orlando OCD on Simon’s behalf.