Emerging from the Hyperbolic Time Chamber
After a many-month-long training arc online, the Easily-Distracted Tales are now available in physical form. Yes, a collection of wood pulp and ink that represents the creative output of several months of my life can be yours to treasure forever. Or at least until the heavier subatomic particles in the universe decay into lighter, higher-entropic particles. I hope several billion years is enough time for you to finish reading it.
(More concerned with electrons than protons? Check out the e-book versions.)
This book contains the complete text of all 50 short stories from the first cycle of Easily-Distracted Tales, with minor edits for style – as well as sanity – and improved typography. Additionally, five bonus Tales have been lovingly handcrafted exclusively for this release. But wait, there’s more! (I’ve always wanted to say that.) Further additionally, this paperback book comes with a full-color slipcover and a full-color, double-sided E-DT bookmark. Yet further additionally, many Tales feature entertaining and illuminating illustrations produced by EJ Massa.
What Will You Discover in This Volume of Easily-Distracted Tales?
- A racist gentleman suffering from Cotard’s delusion!
- A play in real time for production companies with overbudgeted lighting departments that feel capable of attracting forgiving audiences!
- Several discussions on the nature of reality, all of which are inconclusive!
- A drinking glass which is completely empty of lemonade!
- Secrets and lies!
- A healthy, award-winning recipe for garlic knots! (Cut from the final draft!)
- True facts, buoyed by false facts!
- Your super-powered origins!
- Fairies performing martial arts!
- Several references to unpopular songs!
- An advice column from the afterlife!
- Less-frequent exclamation points than in this promotional summary!
- Blood! (A little.)
- Sex! (Somewhat more.)
- Rock and roll! (Far less.)
- The effects of caffeinated beverages on the progress of western civilization and the Enlightenment!
- Disguised alien interlopers sent on an information-gathering mission!
- Yes, definitely more!
I Am Intrigued, But Not Yet Convinced
If this headline is applicable to you, may I recommend the following sample Tales?
If you are interested in supporting and encouraging me and/or my further creative endeavors, please consider purchasing the autographed edition. It doesn’t mean I think my John Hancock is worth the difference, it’s just a way of saying “Thank you” more personally. I am only one person, and do not have the backing of random houses or penguins. However, my thanks will be no less if the regular edition is the one that you select.
As always, please look forward to it.