The Vanishing Mediator

Having fun on the internet.

a thing that is clo

I am sure that all of you, my readers, know the nickname for a sleeveless undershirt, the “Wife Beater.” But have you heard of these other embarrassing clothing nicknames?

Whore Glasses
A charm bracelet (or charm anklet) with non-removable charms.
Cruelty to Animals
Boxer shorts in which one leg reaches all the way down to the knee. Originally known as KVPs, back when they were the standard-issue underwear of the Soviet Navy.
Hitler’s Childhood Friend
A prescription chinstrap, designed to induce medically necessary snoring. (No actual connection to Hitler.)
Misogynist
An undershirt that lacks not only sleeves, but only goes down as far as the midriff. (Best known for being worn by Adolf Hitler.)
KKK Membership Card
Blue jeans bleached by the sun until nearly all of their color has faded.
Laughing at Hiroshima
Leather boots designed to ride just over the knee – with an intricately filigreed silver plate covering the kneecap. The cap was sometimes used for personal defense, but often for tapping against a wall in lieu of applause. Popular in the US during the early 1950s.
Laughing at Nagasaki
Similar to previous, but with silver and leather components switched. Popular in the US during the late 1950s.
Anti-Semite
A shirt constructed by sewing together old copies of National Geographic. Considered extra fashionable if they feature topless tribeswomen in hidden places, such as under an arm or the inside of a pocket.
Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity:
Socks that do not match, sold in packs of three. Often used by particularly crafty defense attorneys, who would scatter them around their clients’ houses for the police to find. On several such occasions, the defendant’s plea was entered as this by default. No sane person would wear such a thing.