The Vanishing Mediator

Having fun on the internet.

civil certainty

“By combining the powers of the Police Department and the Fire Department, I have become the ultimate civil servant!”

“Not so fast, Detective Firefighter.”

“Gasp! EMT Councilman! But you’re too late. Your powers and mine are now equals. We shall fight to a standstill forever!”

“That’s Mayor EMT Councilman to you.”

“What? Impossible!”

“Read the sash.”

“But you can’t serve as Mayor and as a Councilman at the same time! That’s a conflict of interest pursuant to ¶902.3(c) of the city charter.”

“Oh, I’m well aware of the charter. But I also know that the Head of the Exploratory Ethics Committee’s daughter has a Little League game tonight. Which means that my hearing has been postponed to Wednesday evening at the earliest. Giving me just enough time to finish… you… off.”

“How clever. I should never have underestimated you; of course you’d be able to resuscitate your own plans. Very well, then. You’ve forced my hand. Behold! The certification test to become… a Postal Carrier!”

“One of the Federal Powers? You wouldn’t dare!”

“And thanks to the Supremacy Clause, I’ll be invincible! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha!”